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Taking Care of Elderly Parents

Taking Care of Elderly Parents

As our populations ages, more and more of those of us reaching our retirement years find that it becomes necessary for us to care for our parents. This care giving can take many forms, but regardless of that, it puts us a position we have never really thought much about, let alone how to handle it or what affects this situation has on our lives.

The Stress of Caring for Elderly Parents

As all of our doctors will tell us, stress is something we need to do our best to avoid. The detrimental aspects of stress on our health are well documented. The older we get, the more likely that these effects will harm us become more of a risk factor.

This stress comes from many different facets and it is important the we are able to recognize them and then, hopefully, do our best to eliminate or at least lessen the affect on our lives and subsequently our health.

TIME: When we retire, most of imagine a life filled with doing the things we enjoy the most. We hope to be free of much of the constraints of our lives up to this point.

However, the added time required to care for our elderly parents can have a significant amount impact on the time we have to ourselves, the time we had hoped to have to embrace new and enjoyable things as we grow older.

If your parent is in a nursing home or assisted living facility, you will probably find yourself visiting often and sometimes spending significant amounts of time at the facility. There will also be meetings with the staff to make sure that the care you parent is receiving is adequate and suits the needs and desires of your parent and yourself.

Time becomes even more of an issue if your parent is residing in your home. In this situation, you are on the job 24/7 and that can certainly take a toll on you. You are now responsible for every aspect of your parents care – food, hygiene, doctors appointments, entertainment, etc.

So, how can you eliminate at least some level of this stress from you life?

You need an occasional break. Hopefully, there are other family members that can take on some of the visiting or other caring functions that you currently do.

There are day care facilities for the elderly that you may be able to utilize from time to time. This can also be good for your parent as they will have the opportunity to meet different people and develop some additional friendships.

If there are no family members that can help, then possibly there are some close friends of your parent that could occasionally visit and interact with them.

WORRY: It is perfectly natural for us to worry about how our elderly parents are doing, how their physical and mental health is progressing, and probably most stressful, what does the future hold for them and you.

First, let me say, that worry doesn’t solve anything. It does create stress and that is not good.

There is a difference between worrying and thinking of the things you need or have to do to care for your parent. Providing good care takes thought and planning, but simply worrying about everything is not good and it does not solve anything.

What can you do about this?

Seek out others that are in similar situations and as a group you can share ideas and solutions. Also, just knowing that you are not alone in this important endeavor makes it a little easier for you and the other members of the group as well.

There are a multitude of books, videos and seminars devoted to this very subject. It is easy to utilize these resources online or in your local library. Make use of them, you do not have to reinvent the wheel here.

Coping with Caring for Elderly Parents

Your parents will always be your parents and they will always view you as their child, no matter how old you may be. It is as hard for them to give up control as it is for you to take it.

This transition is difficult for everyone involved and you should always remain aware of that fact. Your ability to recognize this and to ease into the new situation is helpful to you and you parent as well.

If you become frustrated or even angry, you need to step back a little and try your best to imagine how your parent feels. People that have been in control all their lives find it very difficult to give up the things they have always done. To stop driving or going to the grocery store can become traumatic events for your parent. If you can keep in your mind that you will very possibly be dealing with the same situation in you own life someday, maybe it will make it a little easier for you to cope.

Again, there are multiple resources available to you if you just seek them out and use them.

Conclusion:

Taking care of elderly parents is often a difficult thing for us to accomplish. I have touched on a few elements about this aspect of our retirement in this article and will expand my comments in future articles.

Also, in future articles, I will list some specific resources that you can utilize and provide you with links to find them quickly and easily.

As always, I hope that you have enjoyed this article and more importantly found some useful information here. Please return often to this site as I am posting new material on a regular basis.

I would greatly appreciate you comments below. Let me know what you like and what you don’t like. Provide me with some of your experiences dealing with your elderly parents. I would also welcome any ideas you have for future articles on this subject.

If you wish to leave a comment, and I encourage you to do so, just click on the title of article and then scroll to the bottom. Please leave you name and email address so that we can stay in contact. Your personal information will not be sold or shared with anyone at anytime.

Blessings;

Dan

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How To Stay Healthy In Retirement

staying healthy in retirement

Can I Stay Healthy During My Retirement?

The short answer is absolutely YES!!!

Any fitness trainer or weight loss coach will tell you that it is never too late to start making improvements in the things that affect our health. Granted, as we get older, the results from these changes in our habits may take a little longer to show, but they WILL show none the less.

This is my first article specifically regarding our health during our retirement years. In this article I am going to touch on a few of the items that I consider to be the most important. In subsequent articles I will devote an entire blog to each of these topics as well as several more.

Finding a Purpose in Your Life

When we quit working and begin our retirement, we almost immediately loose the purpose we identified with for many years based on our vocation. We also begin to loose contact with the many friends and acquaintances we made of the years.

Therefore, it becomes vitally important for each of us to find some new mean, new purpose going forward. Having something in our lives that gives us energy, something that inspires our minds, and something that allows us to remain creative are all things that we should constantly strive to acquire.

Exercise and Activity

Our bodies are aging and as time goes on, we must make our physical health one of our highest priorities. Remaining active, and/or maintaining a rigorous exercise regiment can make a huge difference in how we feel and how long we will live.

Look for ways to keep moving. Play golf, swim, hike, dance, walk, ride a bicycle, go to the gym. This list can go on and on. The only limiting factor here is your imagination.

Having said that, you should NEVER do anything that puts you in danger. Mountain climbing or skydiving probably should not be on the top of you activity list. But, if you have ideas of activities that interest you and are safe, then by all means jump in and enjoy.

Eating Well

Right along with staying active and getting good exercise, we MUST make sure that we are eating well. There are many, many resources in books, on videos and on line that will help you to develop very good eating habits.

We need to eat responsibly. A balanced diet is preferred unless you doctor recommends some specific you should do or not do with regard to eating.

If you need to loose a little weight, and most of us can stand to do some of that, then speak with you physician and come up with a plan that you can not only enjoy, but also will be able to stick with until you reach your desired goal.

Social Life

During our working years, many of us tend to develop our social lives around those we work with. That is fine and should be done. However, after we retire, we tend to gradually loose contact with many of those individuals.

It becomes more and more important for each of us to find new networks of friends. And while there is nothing wrong with making friends on line, I believe that it is much more beneficial to develop relationships with flesh and blood people.

How do you do that? Where can you find these new friends? There are many, many places. Church, YMCA, Senior Centers, book clubs, golf clubs, school reunion groups, again the list is only limited by your imagination.

The point is that we should always be looking for ways to increase our network of acquaintances and hopefully in that group we will find more and more really good friends.

Safety

Staying safe is something that we all need to be constantly aware of and continually doing everything we can to remain out of danger.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, there are some not very nice people that are always looking for ways to pray on us as we grow older.

We need to make sure that we are not putting ourselves in physical danger by travelling alone or in unknown areas. We should not allow ourselves to be taken in by those that are always looking to steal our money or other possessions.

Make sure that there are a few very close family members and/or friends that you can trust to give you good sound advice and don’t ever make any serious decisions without that advice.

Mental Health

Lastly, for this article anyway, we need to be aware of our mental health. Find ways to stimulate your mind. Read, play games, develop hobbies, explore new areas of the community or the country, write, work puzzles. There are many more things you can do but the point is that you must work your mind just like you work your body.

Conclusion

Staying healthy in retirement is certainly possible and very doable. All it takes is some planning, some research, some effort and some perseverance.

It is never too late to begin any and all of these things. Always remember that if you ignore or abuse any aspect of your life, sooner or later it will catch up with you.

Making the best of your retirement years takes some work. But doing the work will certainly reap great rewards for you as you progress through your retirement journey.

As always, I encourage you to leave comments at the end of this article. I will respond to each of you as soon as possible. Also, please let me know not only how you thing I am doing here, but what other areas you might like me to write about in the future.

If you wish to leave a comment, and I encourage you to do so, just click on the title of article and then scroll to the bottom. Please leave you name and email address so that we can stay in contact. Your personal information will not be sold or shared with anyone at anytime.

Blessings;

Dan

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Why Are Grandparents Raising Grandchildren ?

grandparent raising grandchild

This is a very important question in today’s society. This is something that we are seeing more and more of as time passes. The reasons are numerous and I hope to touch on most of them in this article.

Grandparents raising their grandchildren is a growing phenomenon in this country. It is becoming more and more important the we understand the reasons for this and also what things we may be able to do to help.

Addiction

The world we live in today is full of issues and problems. Many of these issues are the result of bad choices made by the parents of young children. The chief culprit here is addiction.

Alcohol has been a major addictive life style for decades. It still exists today and when the parents of children get so caught up in this, they many times find themselves unable or even unwilling to properly care for their children

Today we are also seeing an ever increasing number of people becoming addicted to opioids and other drugs. Unfortunately for their children, this behavior quickly leads to a situation that places the child in danger.

Death

Sadly, the death of one or parents creates the need for other arrangements to be made for the care of the children left behind. It doesn’t matter if the death was from some sort of accident or some terminal illness.

The final result is the same and it is very important to quickly find the best situation for the children.

Violence in the Home

This is a really scary issue, especially for the children involved. Although the majority of this behavior is created by the man in the relationship, it is not always the case. Women also can become violent in the home environment.

This situation quickly causes the children to not feel safe, to become scared to be around the person creating the violence, and not seeing any way out other than to try to hide when it occurs.

Homelessness

Given today’s economic situations and the lack of substantive help from government agencies, more and more people are finding themselves becoming homeless.

For their children, this is certainly not a good situation in which to live. The lack of good hygiene, adequate food, save environments and supervision all add up to a dangerous live style for the child to try to adapt too.

Jail

Unfortunately, the result of some of the behaviors already listed is one or both parents going to jail. When this happens the children are frequently placed on foster care.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many wonderful foster homes and the people that volunteer to do this are incredibly loving and giving people.

However, there are also many foster homes that are not so great. This again leads to the child becoming isolated, ignored, and sadly sometimes even abused.

Neglect

There are homes where everything seems great. Both parents are present, one or both are working, there are adequate financial resources, and a decent home.

However, sometimes, even with all these positive things in place, the children end up being ignored, or left on their own. They end up mostly taking care of themselves and receive only cursory supervision at best.

Working Parents

Sometimes both parents work. They are gone all day every day. Sometimes one or both has to work late or on weekends. Some of these people get so caught up in their careers that they don’t think about or care much for the rest of the family.

This creates a situation of neglect for the children. They begin to feel that their parents don’t really care about them or what is going on in their lives. They are pretty much left to fend for themselves.

Conclusion

From 2005 to 2015 the number of children being raised by their grandparents rose from approximately 2.5 million to 2.9 million. That is an increase of 16%.

First of all this shows that the situation is growing. It also shows us that grandparents are more and more willing and able to take up the raising of their grandchildren.

There are several studies that show it is much better for a child to be raised and cared for by a family member than to be placed in foster care of worse in a group home environment.

Subsequent articles on this topic will begin to address the resources available to grandparents and also tips to help with the day to day efforts required to be successful with your grandchildren.

I hope that this article has been informative and helpful. As always, I hope that you will chose to leave a comment and tell me what you liked or disliked. Let me know what I can do better in the future to make this blog more meaningful. And lastly, please tell me of your experiences and most importantly let me know what you would like me to research and write about in the future.

If you wish to leave a comment, and I encourage you to do so, just click on the title of article and then scroll to the bottom. Please leave you name and email address so that we can stay in contact. Your personal information will not be sold or shared with anyone at anytime.

Blessings;

Dan

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Why Am I Beginning This Blog Series?

My Story

I had a long and successful career working for manufacturing companies. I have worked for some Fortune 100 companies and small privately owned family organizations.

My expertise covered all aspects of Supply Chain Management. Purchasing, Inventory Management, Scheduling, Transportation, and much more. I also have a considerable amount of experience with Continuous Improvement Projects.

So What Happened?

After 40 years of this exciting work, I retired at the age of 62. For awhile I loved being able to get up whenever I wanted and do whatever I wanted everyday. Sounds great, right?

For a time it was, but being so involved in things for so long, it was not long before I began longing for something more. I did not like having nothing important to do everyday. I was used to setting goals and accomplishing things, important things.

What was I missing? What was I really looking for during my retirement? How was I dealing with the many unexpected things that came up after I retired?

Three simple questions, that brought along with them a truckload of answers.

What Was Next For Me?

I began to think about what I might get involved with that would satisfy my need to be doing something important. I started doing some research and reading about how others were dealing with their retirement.

What I quickly realized was that while there is a plethora of information about how we should plan for our retirements and live during our retirement from a financial perspective, there was precious little about the many, many other things we need to deal with that do not deal with our savings and investments.

I decided that it would be a good idea to begin a blog that would deal with all these non-financial issues that we all run into as we progress through our retirement years.

What Can You Expect From Me?

My promise to you, my readers, is that I will do my very best to regularly publish new material on this site that is both relevant and timely.

Also, I promise that I will always pay attention to what you have to say. I look forward to reading your comments and hearing about what additional topics you would like to hear about.

I can think of nothing more important than sharing information with you and finding ways to improve the quality of life for all of us that are on this exciting journey through our retirement years.

In Conclusion

So, here we are at the beginning of a very exciting journey. I hope that you will give me the opportunity to walk along side you and also to get to know each of you a little better.

When you leave a comment on any of my blogs, I will do my best to answer you within 24 hours. Developing a meaningful interaction with each of my readers is very important to me and I hope to you as well.

Therefore, I encourage each of you to leave a comment. Let me know what you think of my plans for this blog. Ask me any questions that you have on your mind. Suggest specific topics you would like for me to research and write about in future issues.

Become a partner with me in developing a community of like minded people that are willing and able to share their experiences and also to offer meaningful advice to others. If we work together, we can create something beautiful.

Blessings;

Dan

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Is Retirement What You Thought It Would Be?

Shows the questions we all have about our retirement

Welcome to “The Other Side of Retirement”

Retirement is NOT what it used to be.

Too often we as retirees find ourselves raising our grandchildren, caring for our aged parents, dealing with the loss of friends, our identity or even our health.  My goal here is to write about all the things we are dealing with during our retirement years that no one ever brings up as we prepare for that time in our lives.

I will be discussing dozens of issues that we are all interested in.  I will NOT be discussing the financial aspects of retirement as there are already plenty of resources out there regarding that very important part of our futures.

So, please read on and enjoy.  When you finish, I hope you will leave a comment and also let me know about some of the things you would like to hear about in the future.

Approaching the Big Day

Most of us spend years preparing for our retirement.  We invest in stocks and bonds. We put money into our 401K plans.  We pay off our mortgages and make sure that we have good insurance coverage.

However, most all of us spend little or no time considering the many things that will certainly come up in the years after we retire.  Most of these things will either surprise us or at least quickly become more involved that we could ever imagine.

Therefore, most of us end up with a pretty good handle on our finances but little knowledge or ability to deal with all the unexpected things facing us in the future.

Retirement Surprises

My wife and I find that we are very typical when it comes to these issues.  I retired at 62 when the company I was working for went out of business. Financially, we are in pretty good shape.  However, there are many things in our lives today that we never imagined we would have to deal with.

We have had to deal with close family members as they got ill and passed from this world.  We find that we are now caring for elderly parents. Personally, I have struggled with the loss of my identity, mostly because of my work.  We have had a significant change in base of friends. And we have had to move from our home to care for my wife’s mother.

Just a brief list of the issues in our personal lives, but these are the kinds of things I hear about everyday from other retired people.

What will I be writing about?

Following are some of blog topics for future issues.

  • Raising your grandchildren.
  • Loss of your work identity
  • Maintaining Relationships
  • Meaning and Purpose in Your Life
  • Realizing You Could be retired for a long time
  • The Honeymoon is over
  • Going back to work?
  • Retirement = Time + Direction
  • Focus on your health

These are just a few of the interesting and thought provoking issues that concern us during our retirement years.

Conclusion

So, here we are beginning a new adventure together.  As I proceed with this blog, I am going to be doing a lot of research and writing about the things I am dealing with and also the things you are encountering.

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think of this blogging idea.  Also, I would be very interested to hear about issues you have that I can also write about in future issues.  

I am hoping that we develop a strong relationship overtime and find ways to discuss these things and help each other.

Blessings;

Dan